urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ecl1958 And remember to always be yourself, because everyone else is already taken Faith 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:ecl1958:88042 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z Ambient stuff on Internet radio <p>Y'all don't even want to KNOW how bad today was in terms of my steroid side effects.&nbsp; Fortunately, I realized sometime in the wee hours this morning while struggling not to crawl out of my skin that it would *not* be a good idea to go to work&nbsp;today, seeing as how I had maybe four or five hours of sleep on top of extreme irritability.&nbsp; I called in and told my supervisor straight up that I needed a mental health day; she was very understanding, thankfully.&nbsp; I fixed myself a cream cheese omelet and home fries with cheddar and salsa (the high point of my day), and eventually got myself back to bed, where I proceeded to be too agitated to sleep, and too anxious to sleep as well, because I kept on having this irrational fear that if I *did* fall asleep, I wouldn't wake up again.&nbsp; Just the medication hell talking, and I know it, but I spent the whole day fighting this battle.&nbsp; I&nbsp;eventually called my neurologist's office and left a message asking for some reassurance that I wasn't going to die, as well as some sort of time frame as to when the worst of this will pass, but they never called me back, which sucks.<br /><br />I've been listening to various ambient music for hours now to try to distract myself and stay calm.&nbsp; I had a very light dinner, just raw red cabbage salad and a Clif bar (scaling back from the mountains of food I gorged on over the past few days, yet another lovely steroid side effect).&nbsp; I've taken my evening psych meds.&nbsp; I've talked to my mother on the phone.&nbsp; I'm starting to come down off the ceiling now, I&nbsp;think, but whoooeeee, was this a hellacious experience.&nbsp; Now I remember why I&nbsp;usually avoid heavy duty steroids all costs.<br /><br />When I'm feeling a little more up to it I will share the very bizarre dream that I had during my brief period of sleep last night.&nbsp; It's making me laugh now.&nbsp; Last night?&nbsp; I woke up panting, literally.&nbsp; Obviously it was not nearly so funny at the time.<br /><br />This is going to be a very early night for me, needless to say.&nbsp; Hopefully I can actually fall asleep and stay asleep this time.</p>