I can't believe the Red Sox declined the option on Alex Gonzalez!  I had really taken a shine to the guy, and I thought he was doing a really nice job for us.   :::is all sadface:::

In other news, my ankle got REALLY sore after my last post; it was aching terribly (to the point of whimpering) even when I put no weight on it, which is a change from before.  I took a look at it and there's some redness and warmth.  There was a little bit of redness the day after I did it (the nurse practitioner commented on it), but the aching and warmth?  It reminded me of the way my "crankle" felt last year.  Now I'm wondering if I could possibly have a cellulitis on top of the sprain, or even a touch of arthritis or gout (both of which were mentioned as possibilities by my doctor during the crankle saga).  What I did for the short term was take half a Percocet (whiich knocked me for a loop as usual) and lie in bed with the leg propped.  I even napped a bit to whatever game was on MLBN, and although the pain is mostly gone I'm going to call for an appointment as soon as the office opens (even before I get to work) and have it looked at.  I'm also going to reschedule my two mental health appointments that I was supposed to have this week.  After all, both my therapist and my psychiatrist have offices on second floors of buildings with no elevators, and other than crawl up flights of stairs I don't think I can get there...

And now the Red Sox are done too.  I'm too stunned to even find words right now.  I do know that I need some time to calm down before I head to the store to do my grocery shopping, though.  My eyes are too red to go out in public anyway.

At least the team that beat us is one that I enjoy watching -- lots of good players, and Bobby Abreu has been one of my favorites for years.  He may look like a Muppet, but he's just amazing.  Also, they're playing with a higher purpose right now, doing it for Nick, if you will.  So if they end up facing the Yankees in the ALCS I'll root for them.  But right now?  I want to slap the shit out of those guys.  Seeing my boys walk out of the dugout for the last time, seeing Tek sitting there watching as it all slipped away, seeing Pap sitting there after the meltdown.  Just...painful.

Well, I guess I'll be getting lots of decluttering done sooner rather than later, won't I?

My NL boys are going home for the winter.  It started to hit me around the 6th or 7th inning that this was really happening, and yes, I shed some tears along the way before just going numb.  One of the few bright spots tonight was Albert singling in Julio (who drew a walk as a pinch hitter and then stole second).  Too bad it was our only run.  Vicente Padilla shut our hitters down, and our pitchers didn't do the same to the Dodgers.  So that's that.

Now I have to wait 4-1/2 months to see my two favorite baseball boyfriends again.  Oh sure, I can dig around on line and find some updates on them, since they both do charity work.  Albert's stuff will be easy to find -- Julio's not so much, but hopefully his foundation's website will be updated during the offseason.  Unfortunately, it's not the same as seeing them out there on the field.  And 4-1/2 months is a long fucking time.   :::major sadface:::

Bah.

I can't fucking believe it.  The Cardinals were THIS.CLOSE to taking Game 2.  We were up 2-1, bottom of the 9th, 2 out, bases empty, and a fly ball to the outfield came Matt Holliday's way and...he dropped it.  A two-base error.  After that Ryan Franklin imploded, issuing a walk, then giving up a single that tied the game, Then there was a passed ball by Yadi Molina and both runners advanced, then another walk loaded the bases.  All of this with two out, and then in came a pinch hitter and, and, and...now we're down 0-2 in the series and I just want to bang my head against the wall because I'm SO not ready to see these guys (including my two favorite baseball boyfriends) start the offseason this soon.  If they don't turn this shit around I will stomp my feet and rend my garments and there will be much wailing.

Oh, and by the way, Julio had a fabulous game, which is some small consolation for the disaster that I just witnessed.  A single, a double, a stolen base, and sparkling defense, including one real webgem.  Way to go, Little Guy.  Hopefully the season will continue so I can see more of that. ♥ ♥ ♥

I first saw the rumor earlier this morning on the Red Sox board on AOL, of all places.  Something about a radio station in Kansas City.  Nothing came up on a Google search, so I shot Ian an e-mail to ask him what he knew, then went back to bed to rest my leg.  Was having a grand time watching reggaeton videos and after awhile, LJ addict that I am, I had to log in again.  I read the comments to my most recent entry and I knew.  Checked my e-mail and my suspicions were confirmed by Ian.  And of course I've checked some of the major media, with no doubt more of that to come as the news spreads.

I haven't really processed this yet but I know as soon as it really hits me, my heart will be hurting even worse than my ankle.  Why the hell do all my baseball boyfriends get gone?  That's two already since I became a Sox fan, with the third no doubt to follow soon.  Coco love aside, wouldn't it have made sense to have a known quantity, and a very good one at that, as our fourth outfielder if they planned to give center field to Jacoby?

I hope this season brings Coco a career year that makes our front office regret this move.  See, now I'm getting angry.  What part of the five stages of grief is that?

Does this mean that I have to change my default icon and get rid of all my Coco icons?  They (and he) are so adorable that I can hardly bear that thought...

Now I'm extra glad that I stayed home from work today.  It would have been July 31 all over again.  I wouldn't have gotten a damn thing done for all the angsting and checking on line.  And just so it's clear...this is so much worse than July 31.

:::sigh:::